The child back to the camp
It was time of war , nay . confrontation itself.. persistent adherence to enemy , because through war may peace waft arose , a rest , a truce or a recede holiday where a fighter can breath . but through confrontation you always pass marvelously between two shots, and that it was , as I said to you , the time of incessant confrontation .
I lived with seven rough brothers, and with a father who doesn't love his wife likely because she begot eight children for him through confrontation time . our aunt , her husband and her five children lived with us in one house , and our graybeard grand father who if he found a piaster on the table or in one of the plenty slacks' pockets which were hanged , he didn't hesitate in taken it and bought a paper . and as you know he couldn't read , so he was obliged to confess of what he commit so that one of us read the latest news to him even he doesn't hear well .
In that time , let me tell you that it wasn't a time of confrontation as you imagine it's meaning , no it wasn't a real war , there wasn't any war absolutely , it was just a matter of eighteen persons of all generations that unite in one time lived in one house . no one of us succeeded in acquiring a job and the starvation- that you hear about- is our daily solicitude . that I call it the time of confrontation , you know , there is no distinction absolutely .
We were fighting for eating , then we fight to allocate food between us , then we fight then in any jiffy my grandfather and while he was looking to all of us with his ready he brings his paper which is pleated well among his clothes , this means five piaster were stolen from a pocket that contained it or from somewhere and a quarrel will befall and my grandfather was still tenacious of the paper while he was standing against the complainers with a graybeard man calmness who lived long time listening to all this din and quarrel without a desire to respond or interest , when the complainers calm down one of the boys draw near to him (since he wasn't trust girls) then he gave the paper to one of the boys while he was getting hold of it's tip in order not to be abducted .
I was in the same age as Esam , we were ten years old , he was more whopping than me as he is nowadays . and he considered himself the leader of his brothers and my aunts' sons , just as considering myself the leader of my brothers and after many trials my father and my aunt's husband could find a daily profession for both of us , that was to carry a big basket together and to walk about an hour and a quarter to arrive at the greenery market a little bit after al-Asr ( evening ) . in that time you don't know how the greenery market seem : the shops already start closing it's doors and the lorries which pass with oddments get ready to leave that crowded street . and our mission- me and Esam- was easy and difficult in the same time . so we have to find what makes our basket full , either in front of shops , behind cars or over mattresses.
Also if the owner enjoying siesta or sitting in his shop .
I am telling you it was the confrontation time you don't know how a fighter passes between two shots all the day . Esam was dashing as an arrow to abduct one cloven cabbage or a bunch of onion , or may be an apple through the wheels of a lorry when it gets ready to move . and my role was to stand up against the devils - I mean the rest of the children - if they try to take an orange that I saw in the mud before them . we worked all during al-Asr ( evening ) I and Esam were quarreling for a part and we quarreled with the rest of the children , the owners of the shops , drivers or occasionally with the policemen . then I was quarreling with Esam in the rest of the time .
It was the confrontation time , I say this because you don’t know that the world in that time didn’t care of anything since no one claims him of virtue , it seems ridiculous to do so to live haphazard ( any how ) with any mean it's a notable victory for virtue , alright , when the human die , the virtue die too . is it right ? so let us concur that in confrontation time it is your errand to achieve the first virtue by keeping yourself alive and what besides that comes next , and since you in a continuous confrontation so there is no second , you don’t always pack up ( finish ) of the first .
Me and Esam had to carry the pannier when it becomes full and we go back to home that was our food for the next day . certainly me and Esam agreed on eating the best food of the pannier while we go back home . it was a deal between both of us that we have never debated or proclaimed before , but it was applied by itself . since we both were altogether in confrontation time .
In that blasted year the coldness in winter was violent and we were carrying really a heavy pannier ( I will not forget that event , it was as you befall through a battle in a trench that contained a bed ) I was eating an apple, we both draw out from the market's gate and we walked in the main street and we walked for about ten minuets among the people , the cars , the wagons and the shops' fronts without alternated any word ( because the pannier was really very heavy and we both were eating ) and suddenly :
No , this is an event that you can't describe as if you are in front of a knife blade of your enemy and you are unarmed man in the same instant , as if you sit in your mother's bosom ..
let me tell you what happened : we were carrying the pannier as I told you , and the policeman was standing in the middle of the road and the road was smitten and we didn't wear footgear , maybe I was looking at the policeman heavy and thick footgear when suddenly I saw it their , its tip was under the policeman's footgear I was a far for about six meters , but I knew from its color that it was more than one quid .
in these occasions we don't think , they talk about the indulgence , alright ,I don't know if the securities color related to the indulgence , with that savagery criminal power that is able to suffocate in awhile which is found in all our souls , but what I know that a person in the confrontation time while he is carrying a pannier with rotten greenery on distance of six meters is not allowed to think when he saw a coin under the policeman's footgear and while he is carrying a pannier with rotten , and this was what I did : threw the apple's oddments and laid the pannier aside in the same minute no doubt that Esam suddenly swayed because of the heavy weight of the pannier that was left in his hand , but he saw the coin after me for about one moment , but of course I was dashed under the effect of that unbeknown power that compel rhinoceros to attack in a blind way , his aim is to reach the end of the earth , and I butted the policeman's leg by my shoulder so he retracted dreadfully and I was imbalanced too , but I didn't fall in the ground and in that moment where as stupid persons think that nothing could be done , I saw it , it was five liras ( quid ) I didn't just see it but I picked it and I fell completely , however I stood faster than I fell and I started to run faster than I stood .
And the whole world was running behind me : the policeman's whistle , and his footgear's sound was tapping the street's flagstones exactly behind me . Esam's screaming , the wagons' bells , the people's slogan … were they really running behind me ? you couldn't say and me too . I ran with a complete sure that no one in any planet could catch me , and with a ten-aged child's sense I stepped another road maybe because I thought Esam would denote where I was to the policeman , I didn't know , I didn't gyrate . I was running ,and I didn't remember that I was exhausted . I was as a soldier who absconded from a battle field where he was forced to trudge and he had no choice besides that he is still running and the world is running behind him .
I arrived home after sunset , and when the door was opened to me I witnessed what I felt in myself that I will witness : the seventeenth creatures waited for me at home and when I stood at the door they noticed me at full pelt but carefully and I interchanged sight with them my palm was in my pocket closing on the five lira and my feet were steady on the ground .
Esam was standing between his parents , and he was furious , no doubt that a quarrel between the two families happened before I came .I appealed to my grandfather who was sitting in the corner convoluted by his clean brown cloak , he was looking at me proudly , he was a wise , realistic man since he knew how to transact in this world . and all what he wanted this time just to buy a large paper for him . and I eagerly waited for the quarrel, Esam was really a liar since he told them that he who found the five liras , and I forcibly took it from him , not just that and also I forced him to carry the heavy pannier alone all the long distance , I have told you that it was the confrontation time, all of us were sure that no one interested in knowing the truth , not just that but also he was convinced to humiliate himself and declare for the first time that I hit him and I'm stronger than him . but what is the value of all that in front of the first authentic .
His father was thinking of a completely different thing . he was ready to accept half of the amount , and my father wanted the other half . if I succeeded in holding over the whole amount it would be my own , but if I ceded this right , I would lose everything and they will divide the amount .
but they didn't really know the real meaning of a child holding five liras in his pocket in confrontation time for the first time with an intimidated accent I threaten them that I'll leave home evermore , the five liras is just for me .
and you really know that they became very furious , they forgot the blood relation , and they all stood against me they warned me firstly , but I was ready for more than that , then they started hit me and of course I could guard myself against strikes , but I'd prefer to keep my palm with five liras closed it was really hard and fast to avoid coherent strikes , my grandfather saw the quarrel except what happened firstly , then the conflict was started and he became aware of everything , he got up and stood in front of them , so by that he facilitated me to adhere in him he offered a conciliation , he said that " grand people have no right to take the amount but it's my duty to take all children in this house to a place where we can spend the five liras as we desire in a sunny day "
in that moment I got on forward decided to refuse , but in the same moment I felt that my grandfather had a strange feeling that made me stop , I didn't understand what he really wanted to do , but I just felt that he was a liar and he wished me to keep quiet
you know a ten-aged child is not able to understand the matters ( if there is necessity to understand them ) like an old man as my grandfather in the confrontation time . but this is what happened , he wanted a paper may be every day for a week and through thick and thin he wanted to placate me .
Thus in that evening we both came to an agreement , but I knew that my mission hasn't finished yet , and I have guard the five liras round the clock , to procrastinate the rest of the children , likewise I had to face my mother's incessant trials to deceive and convince me . in that evening she said to me that by the five liras I could buy two bounds of meat , a new shirt for me , a medicine when I need it , or a book if my parents decide to register me in a complimentary school next summer . but words and conversations are not beneficial as if she asked me to polish my shoes while I was passing between two shots .
I didn't know exactly what I intend to do but all the week which came after that events , I succeeded in procrastinating children by thousand of stories that they knew they were falsehood but absolutely didn't say they so .
Virtue was not existed here , you know , there was another matter that was deliberated around the only virtue in that time which are the five liras . but my grandfather understood all matters , and he wanted a paper as an equal price in return to his role as a protector for me , and when the week finished he fidgeted he felt ( absolutely he felt , since an old man like him will not miss that reality ) that I would not buy a paper for him , and he lost his chance , but he wasn't able to actualize it .
After ten days , my family thought that I spent all the five liras and my palm in my pocket was holding nothing , and I only deceived them , except my grandfather who knew that the five liras was still in my pocket . one night he got up and tried to steal it from my pocket while I was sleeping ( I slept without changing my clothes ) , but I waked up , so he moved back to his bed and slept without saying any word .
I said to you it is the confrontation time . my grandfather was sad since he didn't acquire a paper not because I superseded a promise that he didn't coincide it before . he realized what the confrontation time was , so he didn't admonish me during the two bygone years that he lived after that of what I did , and Esam also forgot what happened – as a drastic child - he fully understood what happened .
Both me and Esam continued our daily trips to the greenery market , we quarreled less than the time before , and chatted slightly . it seems something unknown – indiscernible wall suddenly raised between him – who was still in the confrontation time – and me who I lived a new life .
I remembered that I retained the five liras in my pocket all during five weeks , I prepared a proper egress to the five liras from my pocket in the confrontation time . however , everything when it draws near to fulfillment , it looked like a bridge for a return to the confrontation time not to egress from it
How could you understand that ? the subsistence of the five liras with me was more important than using it , it looked as a key that I have in my palm , and in any moment I can start a new life , but when I became near to a new life , I'm afraid it would be another long confrontation time , as if it is new recurrence to the beginning of the road.
The rest of all is not important : the other day , I went with Esam to the market , and I dashed to abduct a bunch of leek which was in front of a lorry wheels that move slowly . and at the last moment I skidded and fell under the lorry . fortunately , the wheels didn't pass over my leg , but it stopped exactly after it touched my leg .anyway I came round fainting while I was in the hospital , and the first thing I did was to look for the five liras , but it wasn't in my pocket .
I supposed Esam who took it when he was carried with me in a car to the hospital , but he didn't confess , and I didn't ask . we just exchanged gazes and understood each other . no , I wasn't angry because he was diverted and I was bleeding since the five liras was stolen , I was just sorrowful because I lost it .
And you will not understand . that it was in the confrontation time .
